Video Highlights
My toast to the bride and groom
Highlights
My Toast
Ladies and gentlemen
It is my pleasure to propose the toast to the bride and groom today. But before I do that I would first like to tell you all a little story. It is a story about a hero and heroine who are known to us all and it goes something like this.
Once upon a time there was a fine young chap called Anthony. He lived aa happy life in Pinelands with his three zany housemates but there were times when he felt he was missing a little special something shall we say. Then one cold blustery evening in the middle of winter when he was partiularly missing that little something, he was invited to a glue-vine party. He walked in and was just about to get stuck into the glue-vine when suddely, flash, bam, alla ka zam, his whole world crashed in front of him for there in front of him was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
Now if you ask Anthony about this moment, he will go into the most explicit detail. He'll tell you exactly what clothes sh was wearing, how beautiful her smile was, how her eyes sparkled, right the way down to the fact that her feet were bare and she was carrying a plate of sausage rolls. It was quite simply love at first sight.
You may be wondering what was going through Jo's mind at this time. Obviously for the purposes of our story it would be great to say that our hero and heroine fell instantly into each others arms at first site but it wasn't quite a simple as that. To be honest, when I asked Joanne to recall her side of the events, she couldn't quite remember Anthony being at the glue-vine party that night.
But Antony wasn't deterred. Being the hero he is he persisted, he made sure he bumped into Jo whenever he could and way and behold, soon she noticed him and thought he was rather delicious too.
Now it all came together a few weeks later when Jo and Anthony were together at a music concert and as they were jostled about in the crowd, Jo turned to Anthony and said "Antony, please take hold of my hand because I don't want to lose you. It was at this very moment, Antony being the perceptive chap he is, that he realised that thing were hotting up suffieciently to make his big move. So after the concert, he took Jo out for frozen yoghurt and while they were sitting there, he surreptitiously placed his hand on JO'S Knee.
Now normally this seductive approach would have been fine. Many of us budding Valntinos have used it very successfully since time immemorial. But unfortunately poor JO was not expecting it and as Antony's hand was icey cold from holding his frozen yoghurt, Jo got the fright of her life and leapt a metre and a half off her chair. So that is how Antony and Jo began their fast and furious relationship. Anthony was fast and Jo was furious! Anyway, after that, our hero and heroine blossumed together and after a while, they decided they wanted to live together for ever, and that ladies and gentlemen is what we are here to celebrate together today.
When I was asked to propose the toast today, I read some articles on marriage`to get into the swing of things. And I read an article that said something very interesting. It said the problem with modern relationships is that many a young man who falls in love with a dimple, makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. Now this caught my attention as Jo has particularly beauutiful dimples. One must perhaps ask - has Antony fallen into this trap. Well you don't need to reflect for long to know that the answer is definitely no - for although Jo does have beutiful dimples, she has 101 other special dimples that really set her apart. To name a few, she is the most loving and caring person you will ever meet, she is wonderfully down to earth and she has a lovely sense of fun. Anthony is also a very special guy. No matter what he is doing, whether he is downing a tall glass of Guiness, winsurfing on the Langebaan lagoon, causing chaos and mayhem on the gold course, he is someone who relishes life at every moment and together Jo and Antony make a dynamic couple.
My grandfather once gave me some advice for husbands and I would like to share it with Anthony`because it must be pretty good. My grandfather has been married to my grandmother for over 54 years. So here is his magic advice. Never forget that marriage is a wonderful thing. It teaches you loyalty, patience, understanding and a whole lot of other things you wouldn't need if you stayed single. Secondly if you ever forget your wife's birthday, don't fret. Simly say "Darling, how can you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older. Thirdly, there are only two ways to make your wife happy. First let her think she is having her own way, and secondly, let her have it. And lastly, when carrying your wife over the threshold, rememer to carry her sideways because a concussion and two broken ankles can really put a dampener on your honeymoon.
My grandmother also has some advice to give but as she says, men are so much easier to understand than women so her advice is much simpler. Know that a man is a domesticated animal which if treated with firmness and kindness can be trained to do most things. And lastly, let your husband rule the roos, but make sure that you rule the rooster.
Joanne and Anthony, you are two very special people. We all congratulate you on your marriage and hope that as you journey on your life toghether, your joys will be doubled and your troubles halved. May the most you ever wish for be the least you ever receive. May your marriage be filled with love and laughter and may you live for as long as you wish and receive all you want as long as you live.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the toast is Joanne and Antony, the bride and goom.
0 comments:
Post a Comment